Something is happening in a week that is a pretty big deal. And although that day is very much not about me, it still is one of the defining moments in a man’s life. I will have the privilege of walking my daughter down the aisle at her wedding. I will be participating in a long-standing ritual of handing off my daughter to a man who very fortunately loves the Lord and has shown that he loves her very much as well.
People will tell you that I am not a particularly emotional person, so I have not been totally obvious about my feelings around the subject. I can say, however, that in the many months I have had to get used to the idea, I have thought a lot about marriage and really considered what it means for my daughter and our family. Of course when I think about her upcoming marriage, that causes me to look back and consider my own marriage and my own beautiful bride.
I know from talking to my future son-in-law that when it comes to my daughter, he feels a sense of protectiveness, not terribly unlike my own. His need to protect her is not a chauvinistic thing, but rather a deep desire for her to feel secure at all times when she is with him. I am the same with my wife, and I think it is something that all men share. It is not that my wife is weak – in fact she is far stronger than me in many ways. The fact of the matter is that if my wife is in danger of any kind of harm – if she needs to be saved – I am going to rescue her or literally die trying.
My bride is the most important person in the world to me. I recently watched our wedding video from 23 years ago and we were so young; she was so beautiful. I take pride in her – I show her off. I value the life that I have with her, and I marvel at who she is on a regular basis. Is she perfect? Absolutely not – but there will always be a part of that blushing bride from my wedding day when I see her – the one filled with anticipation and hope for a future together.
There are more than 20 places in the Bible where we, the followers of Christ, are referred to as His bride. Back in Isaiah 54:5 it reads: “For your Maker is your husband, the Lord of hosts is his name; and the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer, the God of the whole earth he is called.” As we walk through life as believers, we recognize God in all sorts of places in our lives – through our jobs and our church, through our children and through the ones we love the most. Yet, I think it is not often we consider ourselves as Christ’s bride – that vision is hard to reconcile.
In 2020 I left IT and went into full time ministry as a Pastor. We lived in Colorado at the time, and my new job was in rural Missouri. So in March I moved to MO into the parsonage, and my wife and girls stayed in colorado for the next 2 ½ months so that they could finish school and we could sell the house. My first week there became the first week under nationwide lockdown for COVID, suddenly I am in a strange place with strange people and I cannot even leave the house to get to know my new congregation.
Being away from my wife was incredibly difficult. We had never been apart for more than 10 days. As time went on I could feel a weakness inside of me – a part of me missing, and there is nothing that helps the situation except to look forward to when I get to fly to CO to get my family – I will come back for my bride.
At my daughter’s wedding, there are several things I can expect. I have been involved in a lot of weddings – I’ve officiated, been a best man twice, groomsman, usher, musician, and attendee. And I know that when I prepare to walk down the aisle with my daughter, she will be the most beautiful she has ever been – she will be prepared. I also know that as we approach the altar, for her, everyone in that room will disappear except for the man she loves – the one for whom she has prepared.
If we are the bride, what will we look like when we begin to walk toward the aisle? If we consider that like me in MO, Christ is eagerly anticipating coming back for His bride, this means that His return to us is just as joyful for Him as for us. Revelation 19:7 reads: “Let us rejoice and exult and give him the glory, for the marriage of the Lamb has come, and his Bride has made herself ready; it was granted her to clothe herself with fine linen, bright and pure”— for the fine linen is the righteous deeds of the saints.” The wedding is coming and we have to prepare.
If I consider the two things I know that will happen with my daughter, it means that I need to pay attention to the image I present when our bridegroom arrives. Am I doing all I can to clothe myself in righteousness? Am I chasing that fine linen of righteous behavior? Ephesians 5:27 says: “that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.”
And even as I prepare, where is my focus? I know what will happen at my daughter’s wedding because I have seen it in countless others, and because I remember seeing my own bride walk down the aisle. At that moment, nothing else matters. For the rest of my life following that moment, everything in this world matters a little less if she is not a part of it. Those are the eyes I want to focus on the Creator – the eyes He undeservedly focuses on me.
It is time we prepare for our bridegroom. This means that we need to approach with a devotion and anticipation of an eternity with the one who loves us most. As you consider your own marriage, consider the love, the sense of protection, the companionship – and recognize that our relationship with God has always been meant to be the model for these things in our marriages. God is the bridegroom and we are the blushing bride – loved, protected, and eagerly awaited by the one who has called us home.
I am so happy for you and your daughter. Happy Blessing to both of you.